I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
