You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
