i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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