But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Randomize
