Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
