he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
