nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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