Sry I called you an 8
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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