We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Congratulations! We have a period
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
