Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
