Duck Duck Cougar?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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