There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
