Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
BRING THE BAGELS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
