he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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