After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize