i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
