She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Im part way to drunk.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
