Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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