i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
