Sponge bath it is.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize