I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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