Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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