I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
