I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
