Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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