grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
