Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize