There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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