They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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