I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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