i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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