We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
