No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
