This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
