Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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