Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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