You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
