You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
