Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
