i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
