Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
