I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
