yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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