I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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