So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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