That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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