I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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