i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
