Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Boobs speak an international language.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
