what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
