apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you would pick up someone in the library
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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