i don't like sucking hair
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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