Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I need help removing her.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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