I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
