Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize