Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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