I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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