i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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