forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
