your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
